lasagnababy:

when your parents ask you how you did on a test

image

6,932 notes

bootsi:

I won’t take selfies with other people y’all don’t know my angles

452,002 notes

petpup:

today a teenage white boy looked me straight in the face, pointed at himself, winked at me, and said “so how about helping papa bear with his math homework?” and i think i was speechless for a total of 10 seconds before telling him i dont associate with people who call themselves papa bear

60,028 notes

floweranger:

do you ever see your face from a different angle and have a mental breakdown

1,093,592 notes

hereticgods:

but imagine erik finding something interesting and quietly whispering “magneato”

658 notes


134,521 notes

sammiey:

sammiey:

my doctor told me to eat more taco bell

well actually he said “less mcdonalds” but i’m pretty sure i know what he meant

297,733 notes

tumsperks:

How to break up with someone:

Give them a sock and tell them they are a free elf now

151,147 notes

autisticqueermihashi:

piratecoves:

poopflow:

people who dry swallow pills go hard as hell and should not be fucked with

i used to dry swallow pills until a searing pain developed in my throat and chest and with the help of the world wide web i found out it burned a hole in my fucking throat please take your pills with water kiddies it’s worth it

HOLY SHIT OKAY

365,430 notes

asian:

I have a frame picture up on my wall showing one of the dumbest anon question i have ever gotten

image

"You’re not Asian because you weren’t born in Asia. I know this because I have an asian friend, and she’s from Asia."

90,470 notes

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