neoputa:

i have unlimited texting and i only text 3 people ever i think my phone company looks at my bill and just laughs

427,623 notes

thaibrator:

gay people like rupaul’s drag race because it’s like sports for straight people. we know the stats, the players’ history, and we can talk about it for hours and you can like go to bars and watch and cheer on your faves like yas my favorite sport is drag racing yas

image

1,249 notes

h0odrich:

girlfights:

"You’re on the ground you stupid bitch!", someone stop them from embarrassing themselves lmao

THIS IS MY TRAAAAAIN LMAOOOOOOO OMMMGGGGGGGGGG

1,524 notes

dutchster:

drunktrophywife:

nipsynips:

so I just opened my dryer for the first time since Hurricane Sandy hit

and this came out
image
okay

Hurricane sang was years ago that fish would’ve been decomposed by now. Try again!!!!!

you could say this post seems a little… fishy

63,558 notes

wisdomtiger:

misantropaculia:

http://media.tumblr.com/09b76f588350ecdfd447030145734de8/tumblr_inline_mxk2cyEH841rpx9q2.gif

Perspective is everything

234,338 notes

catswithbenefits:

i dont want a job i just want paychecks

393,040 notes

fartgallery:

lionkitten:

fartgallery:

dont waste ur time reading this post. go paint a tree, hlep the elderly cross the street, skip down the road, throw a rock in the beach, take life by the tits and milk it

that post was definitely worth reading

UR NOT MILKING THE TITS OF LIFE

173,384 notes

1,339,641 plays

remixedwriter:

professorsugoi:

shewbs:

blutunez:

image

JESUS

I WAS NOT

jesus fuck

240,958 notes
People run from rain but
sit
in bathtubs full of
water.

Charles Bukowski (via bittersweetsongs)

Wow bukowski so profound do you also bathe fully clothed you dickhead. “Oohh isn’t it funny that a person will eat when they’re hungry but will duck if you throw an apple at their face”

(via coolestpriest) 293,919 notes

troyesivan:

its kinda scary when you waste an entire day doing nothing and time just passes

366,427 notes

sp00ky-shucks:

things women worry about under patriarchy: rape, domestic violence, access to contraceptives, equal pay

things men worry about under patriarchy: getting called gay, paying for dates, why does the car wash give women $1 off on wednesdays

59,116 notes

bradley-herondale:

My sister was playing some kind of question game on her Kindle two rooms away and I heard her ask herself in frustration: “Who the heck lives on 221B baker street?! This is impossible!” And I am not exaggerating when I say I slammed my hands into my keyboard and:

image

She proceeded to yell back: “THANK YOU, NERD!”

13,548 notes

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